What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, and Marriage: Lessons for People from Animals and Their Trainers

↏ Free Read Format Kindle ⫸ What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, and Marriage: Lessons for People from Animals and Their Trainers  ⠃ PDF by Amy Sutherland ⢓ ↏ Free Read Format Kindle ⫸ What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, and Marriage: Lessons for People from Animals and Their Trainers ⠃ PDF by Amy Sutherland ⢓ chapter one People Are Animals Too As I wash dishes at the kitchen sink, my husband paces behind me, irritated Have you seen my keys he snarls, then huffs out a loud sigh and stomps from the room with our dog, Dixie, hot on his heels, anxious over her favorite humans upset In the past I would have been right behind Dixie I would have turned off the faucet and joined in the hunt while trying to soothe Scott with cheerful bromides like Dont worry, theyll turn up Sometimes Id offer wifely pointers on how not to lose his keys to begin with Or, if I was cranky, snap Calm down It didnt matter what I did, Scott typically only grew angrier, and a simple case of missing keys would soon become a full blown angst ridden drama starring both of us and Dixie, our poor nervous Australian shepherd Penny Jane, our composed border collie mix, was the only one smart enough to stay out of the show Now, I focus on the wet plate in my hands I dont turn around I dont say a word Im using a technique I learned from a dolphin trainer I love my husband With his fair skin and thick chestnut hair, hes handsome in an angular Nordic way Hes well read and adventurous, and does a hysterical rendition of a northern Vermont accent that still cracks me up after fourteen years of marriage We like many of the same things dogs, jazz, medium rare hamburgers, good bourbon, long walks, the color orange But he can also get on my nerves He hovers around me in the kitchen when Im trying to concentrate on the simmering pans, asking me if I read this or that piece in The New Yorker He finishes off boxes of cookies, especially the dense caramel bars his mother sends from Minnesota, then says I thought you were done with them He leaves wadded tissues in the car He drives through red lights, calling them long yellows He suffers from serious bouts of spousal deafness, yet never fails to hear me when I mutter to myself on the other side of the house What did you say hell shout Nothing, Ill yell back What hell call again These minor annoyances are not the stuff of separation and divorce, but in sum they dulled my love for Scott Sometimes when I looked at him I would see not the lean Minnesotan I adored but a dirty Kleenex dropping, hard of hearing, prickly cookie monster At those moments, he was less my beloved husband and a man sized fly pestering me, darting up my nose, landing in the sauce on the stove, buzzing through my life So, like many wives before me, I ignored a library of advice books and set about improving him By nagging, of course, which usually had the opposite effect from the one I longed forhis size 11 shoes continued to pile up by the front door, he went longer between haircuts, he continued to return empty milk cartons to the fridge I tried cheerful advice like You are so handsome, but no one can see it behind your five oclock shadow That usually resulted in another couple of razorless days I made diplomatic overtures like What if we each promise not to leave smelly clothes lying around Okay, my husband would agree good naturedly, and then walk right past his reeking bike garb on the bedroom floor I, a modern woman, tried being direct, asking him in a voice as neutral as a robots, Would you please not drive so fast Even this approach would backfire as in my simple question my husband might hear an accusation or an order and then push the accelerator a hair When all else failed, I yelled, and then we fought We went to a counselor to smooth the edges off our marriage The counselor, a petite, sharp boned woman who took notes on a legal pad, didnt understand what we were doing there and complimented us repeatedly on how well we communicated I threw in the towel I guessed she was rightour union was better than mostand resigned myself to the occasional sarcastic remark and mounting resentment Then something magical happened I discovered animal training I stumbled into the world of animal training nearly ten years ago when we brought home Dixie, an eight week old herding dog, ten pounds of furry red energy It was as if we had lit a bottle rocket in our house, the way she ricocheted from room to room, a toy or two hanging out of her mouth I gave up meditating in the morning to begin my daily pursuit of wearing her out It was a sunup to way past sundown job Before I even got dressed or made coffee, I would sit cross legged on the floor, hold a faux sheepskin rug before me, and call Get it Dixie would catapult herself into the rug and rip it from my hands, her amber eyes afire, and then wed each tug with all our might We played that game so much, the rug was eventually reduced to a slobber encrusted handful of fabric I learned to throw a ball properly for the first time in my life, and then a Frisbee I tossed balls and Frisbees and walked so much I went down a size in pants Dixie was either tugging, wrestling, or running, or she was fast asleep under a table where we couldnt pet her Should we get down on our hands and knees and reach under to pat her, Dixie would look miffed, like an Olympic athlete roused from a power nap, then pull herself to her paws and move just out of reach Cuddling, from Dixies point of view, was for wuss dogs Though I think we were a bit of a disappointment to Dixie, the way commoners can be to royalty, we were just smart enough to know that a herding breed needed a job So we went looking for an agility class, where you learn to run your dog through a whimsical obstacle course of tunnels, jumps, and teeter totters At that time, we found only one trainer around Portland, Maine, who taught this crazy skill Before we could tackle the course, though, we were required to take a puppy training class If this trainer had used traditional techniques, the leash popping and pushing your dog this way and that, I think the story would have ended there For me, there is little magic nor imagination in that old school approach But it was my good luck that the trainer used progressive, positive techniques, techniques based on an altogether different philosophy Rather than learning to boss our pups around and make them into obedient dogs, we learned to communicate and cooperate with them She didnt teach us just how to get our dogs to sit, but rather how to think about our canine companions Amid the joyful chaos of puppy classthe barking, the tangled leashes, the marital squabblesI found an intellectual and personal challenge I hadnt expected I found a new me, a me with much patience and self control I learned to be precise and observant I learned to teach Dixie what I wanted rather than what I didnt want I learned not to take anything she did personally, not even when she ripped my shorts in a fit of overexcitement All this from a six week puppy training class I also began communicating with another species, and you can never underestimate the thrill of that I signed us up for another class, and another class, and another class I was hooked So hooked that when I landed on the Paris set of 102 Dalmatians for a magazine assignment, I spent every spare moment hanging out with the animal trainers, chatting about such things as how they taught a parrot to ride atop a bullmastiff and how they got the dog not to shake whenever the birds wings brushed its back The trainers, to my surprise, had all earned actual degrees in exotic animal training They had studied at a community college outside Los Angeles It was the go to school, they told me, not to mention the only program of its kind Back home, I taught Dixie to bring in the Sunday New York Times, scribbled down the name of the school, and threw the scrap of paper into my idea folder In 2003 I began work on a book about this school For a year, I commuted between Maine and California, where I followed students at Moorpark Colleges Exotic Animal Training and Management Program There I spent my days watching students do the seemingly impossible teach a caracal to offer its paws for a nail clipping, a camel to shoot hoops, a baboon to get into a crate and close the door behind her Each day at the teaching zoo was packed with countless lessons, from how to pick up a boa constrictor to how to speak to a wolf As I observed the students, I essentially became a student too I learned not to look the primates in the eye, to stride with confident ease while on a cougar walk, and never to stand close to any enclosure, especially not the big carnivores I learned that when Zulu the mandrill bopped his head at me, he was saying Back off That when Rosie the baboon smacked her lips together, she was saying Hello, friend That when Julietta the emu made a thumping noise in her chest, she was worried.Playful, passionate, and practical RedbookA compelling argument for using techniques from animal trainers to help change bad habits and improve relationships Atlanta Journal ConstitutionSutherlands a smart, engaging writer, and her stories about the hows and whys of exotic animal training are fun and fascinating Boston Sunday GlobePart self help guide, part animal psychology textbook and part memoir Sutherland has a breezy style New York Times Book ReviewIn the little, private zoo known as marriage, it helps to remind yourself that you and your partner are just two bipedal primates trying to get along in intimate co habitation Globe and MailWise and pragmatic advice The thing I love most about this book is that every other paragraph, Sutherlands terrific wordsmithing, compelling logic, and anecdotes about exotic animals make me feel like shes tossed me a biscuit.Martha Beck, author of Steering by Starlight and columnist for O The Oprah Magazine Hilarious and persuasive.Good HousekeepingInvaluable It succeeds nicely as an animal training guide, and amusingly as a relationship book Buffalo News Listening to Whales What the Orcas Have Taught Buy Listening Taught Us on FREE SHIPPING qualified orders Killer whale learns imitate human speech in A killer has been taught by scientists copy The researchers were studying a year old female named Wikie, who was How Train Husband newsweek Attention, frustrated wives if you want your husband start listening and stop leaving his socks floor, all need is little patience The Killer in Pool Outside Online Last February, when , pound orca Tilikum dragged SeaWorld trainer into pool drowned her, it third time big had Cetacea Wikipedia Cetacea s t e widely distributed diverse clade of aquatic mammals that today consists whales, dolphins, porpoises Cetaceans are Corky Corky II captive or from Pod British Columbia, Canada She currently lives at San Diego California Welcome Behaviorbabe Ask Behaviorbabe Welcome This site created for multiple reasons as an independent marketing tool, educational outlet, forum Birthday Party Spots Mom Guide San How pathetic I m grown woman cannot easily mend her own family clothes didn take home economics school, wasn how sew School Rock Film TV Tropes School comedy directed Richard Linklater icon American film scene going mainstream starring Jack Signs You re Not Only One Sleeping So she doesn respond right away It guy one bit trickier girls usually have many orbiters other guys will incessantly text Russian Girls Are All Whores Return Of Kings That, variation conclusory statement, what various told me after hearing Russia extended period Mirrors Unrated Kiefer Sutherland, Sutherland, Paula Patton, Amy Smart, Cameron Boyce, Erica Gluck, Mary Beth Peil, John Shrapnel, Jason Flemyng, Tim Ahern, Julian Hair Colour Expert Salon Nottingham We Midlands award winning hair colour salon based Nottingham City Centre provide customised unique service individually crafted Sutherland Physiotherapy Sports Injury Clinic Sutherland Clinic offers treatment physiotherapy, hand therapy, massage therapy dance Sydney Perkins Co Brigitte C Sutherland Well traveled around world within accounting industry, brings years experience working with closely held businesses their owners, Amy Barlow also Patience Cropper McDonald fictional character ITV soap opera, Coronation Street, portrayed Elle Mulvaney Carlson Lynn born July television actress, known roles Linda Reagan CBS police procedural Blue Bloods, Alex Taylor What Shamu Me About Life, Love, and While observing trainers exotic animals, journalist epiphany used techniques animals life Sydney Shire Young Fun Marriage Watson young fun celebrant, storyteller, party starter kick arse marry er Street Wiki FANDOM Katherine formerly daughter Tracy Steve two half brothers Ruairi stillborn IMDb Carlson, Actress Green Lantern Born Glen Ellyn, Illinois, spent most early Chicago area But Junior High What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, and Marriage: Lessons for People from Animals and Their Trainers

    • Format Kindle
    • 0812978080
    • What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, and Marriage: Lessons for People from Animals and Their Trainers
    • Amy Sutherland
    • Anglais
    • 02 May 2016
    • 192 pages

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *